Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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