Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops