How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Mogok Papiti.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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No soup for you!

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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