A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

Sir, your wife is dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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