Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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Why was the woman?

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Shea's sty....

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops