A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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No antijoke here.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops