Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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the lemon was sweet.

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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