What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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9/11

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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