What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Why so serious ?

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops