A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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