Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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batman has diarrhea

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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