A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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