Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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