Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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I literally died laughing

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops