Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops