A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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I'm tired.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops