Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

Diarrhea

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...