Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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