A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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