what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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What fires shots? A gun

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Ebola

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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