A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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