YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Penis

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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