You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops