Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Face...tastes like chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops