- Anti Joke

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

It got hit by a rocket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

WOMENS RIGHTS

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why is my penis rainbow colored?

what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.