Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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