Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

q ggggggggggggggggg

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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