There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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ok

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops