Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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