Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops