"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

Can I ask you a question? You just did

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

the lemon was sweet.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

So I was walking down the road today

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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