How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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People...

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops