What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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