Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Jebron Lames.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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