What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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what's up? my penis.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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