They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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A black student graduated High School

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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KILL WHITEY

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops