Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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The Qur'an

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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What does water taste like? Water

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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