Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops