Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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