What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Jesus Christ

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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