Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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BIG MAC'S

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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