Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

Water? I hardly know her.

Joke

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

An Asian with a big dick.

What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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