Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops