Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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The game.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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