Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

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There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

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hear hear

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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