The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops