A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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