frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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TIMMY

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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