What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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69

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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