How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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A child walks into a classroom.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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lol

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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