How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops