A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops